Thursday 6 April 2017

Just a bunch of Galls


Skyler and I planed a holiday months ago. We flew out in the early hours of the morning and laded later in the day. Leaving the airport into the sun beating down onto my skin as I looked around the scenery. We had gone to Hawaii every year for ten years straight and all the memories flooded back. Of me and mum jumping playing int the sea while Skyler buried her brother in deep sand until he was traped. We would spend all night gossiping about our celebrity crushed and cute boys we had seen that day. The smiles and laughs that we had all the time here were the best. And basically we were just a bunch of galls plus a few boys.

Saturday 25 March 2017

Leaving behind the past...


I placed a box in front of Dean. He glanced up with a puzzled look.  I signalled for him to open it. As he lifted the top of the cream box his eyes lit up. A black top with the the words worlds best dad written on it laid neatly inside. A tear slipped down his cheek as he jumped up and embraced me. Dean always wanted children. We had talked about it endlessly over the years. I always knew he would be a great father. A small bark startled me. When Bella died I was devastated. So once I had fully healed Dean surprised me with a black Labrador puppy. His name Bailey. His paws pounded into the room. I rubbed behind his ears.

Later that day I went to mum's grave and laid down her favourite white roses like I did every mothers day. I glanced around at all the other people kneeling at graves, mourning their loved one's. A little girl and her father placed a bunch of tulips and a teddy on a grave. The girl snuggled into her dads arms. She couldn't be older than 5. I could hear her sobs. I was lucky that had more time with mum than some people would ever get. I looked back at the grave stone with her  name engraved onto it. I muttered under my breath "Mum. I wish one day that my children love me as much as I loved you." The tears started streaming down my cheeks. Once they had stopped I sung mum's favourite song. Then I stood up and whispered "This is what leaving behind the past feels like."...

Friday 17 March 2017

A tough decision...


People have to make tough decisions everyday. For me, mine was choosing to continue my dream career and travel to England to film the biggest set of films ever or stay here and peruse having my dream family. If I left I gave up on everything back home. Dad, Dean,Skyler and so much more. But if I stayed here everything I had worked for my life would all go down the drain. I paced my room as my mind whizzed to places I didn't even know existed. Dean had been writing all day and had asked me about fifteen million times if I was okay. I loved him so much. I was twenty-two and had the rest of my life to live but mum had shown me that life goes so easily.  I perched down on the end of the bed and let out a long sigh. My eyes wondered to the window and I it hit me. Why on earth would I give up this amazing world I currently lived in for a small little dream. I had family and friends here. I glanced down to my stomach and whispered "When am I going to tel Dean about you?" I found out I was pregnant a couple days ago and I wanted to tell Dean in a special way...

Wednesday 15 March 2017

Dealing with it


After being isolated from everybody apart from dean , I decided to go to a therapist. This was a person I leak all my emotions and not have them tell me it will all go away or that it gets easier.  Mum had left me a lot of money as her only child. She had no siblings and her parents had died a few years ago. My dad was as dead to her as she is.That left little old me to inherit all her belongings. I paid for a few session with Ella (My therapist) and it really did help. I found I stopped sheltering myself from my friends, me and skyler started going shopping. I attend school every now and then. Dean has now moved into the house and found a job. The house finally feels like a home once again...


5 years later...


I still went to therapy every couple of months. Dad and I occasionally talk to each other. He finally found another person who is loves just as much as he did mum. Dean is a successful author of four books and is currently working on number five. Skylar graduated , became a singer and is currently pregnant with twins. I'm an actor and skylers manger. I have travelled the world. Dean and I turned mum's room into a studio for my painting. Dean's depression got better and he came off his medication. Skyler liked it and put a ring on it a year ago.I'm proud of my family, friends, Dean and mostly me...

Friday 10 March 2017

A time of sadness


As they buried her coffin into the ground , Dean held me tightly in his arms. I looked around at the dull faces that had come to say their final goodbyes to mum. Dad, Aunt Jenny, Grandma Lucy, Cousin Jerald, Skyler and many other faces I hadn't seen for a while. My world flew sky high but crashed down in the worst way possible. It was my turn to speak. I inched my way round to the podium and looked down. I said my words and tears streamed down my face. I was officially broken.

At the after party I sang mum's favourite song "Thousand years". Dean and I danced the night away. All I wanted was to hold mum in my arms one last time. Dad slowly approached me as people left giving me their condolences for my loss. He showed me his wrist. There in fresh ink was the same two wedding rings him and mum had yet one was broken and faded and the other shone brighter than diamonds. No words had to be said. He hugged me tightly, nodded his head and left. I turned to Dean and whispered "thank you" with a small smile but that was all I could bring myself to do. Dean and I gathered our belongings and left for home. I craved to in bed between the sheets in Dean's arms listening to Ed Sheerans new album Divide on repeat until I knew every word to every song. I fell asleep doing just that and wondering what the hell I wouldn't do with the troubled boy named Dean...

Tuesday 7 March 2017

flying high might lead to crashing down...



A few seconds turned into minutes. A few minuets turned into a few hours. A few hours turned into days. And a few days turned into a few months. Me and dean had spent most of our time together. I turned 18 and we held a massive party at the house from the hospital for a couple weeks. My life was finally getting fixed. Mum and I went in for her weekly check-up. Everything was going smoothly until the speakers yelled "All available help please go to room 105. The room where mum was. tow doors swung open and mums body which was on a hospital bed cam zooming out. Multiple machines were attached to her body and panicked expressions all on their faces. I didn't even realise that Ii stood up let alone the fact I was having a panic attack. The air I was breathing in became thicker , my hands became clammy and my vision fuzzed. A nurse glanced over at me and came rushing over. I felt paralysed.She tried to comfort me but my thoughts were louder. Tears flooded down my cheek endlessly. How could everything go from almost perfect to the darkest place I could possibly be.
What could be wrong? Why me? What will happen next? ...

Wednesday 15 February 2017

Be my valentine?


It had been a couple days and we were non-stop talking until finally he asked me out on a date. The doctors allowed us to go out. We went shopping and danced in the street. We kissed in the park under a tree as the sunlight beamed down. We got weird looks from strangers in the street but we didn't care. later at night we went home to my cold and empty house. Dean stayed downstairs as I got changed into my skintight black dress and my high heels and reapplied my make up. I wanted to impress him. Also I had text the hospital asking if we could spend the night away as a break from that place and they granted one night only! Of course Dean was very happy about it. Dean had obviously cranked up the heating while I was getting dressed because I finally felt like this place did before I caught dad that night. As I made my way down the grande staircase I saw something in the living room that caught my attention. Dean was wearing a smart suit and was holding a heart shaped box of chocolates in the other was a dozen white roses (my favourites)  . Only then did it click inside that today was February 14th ! My mouth dropped and that huge goofy grin laid on his face again.
"Will you be my valentine?" As the words left his mouth a tear of happiness fell down my cheek.
"Of course you goofy boy!" He placed the presents on the sofa and I ran into his arms. Tonight was going to special.

Our date went well and we manged to get home  at around 2 in the morning. We opened a bottle of champagne that mum had left behind. And we headed to bed. Things heated up between us and ...

Saturday 11 February 2017

The start of a new chapter


My mum woke up a couple of days ago but the doctors say she only has a week to live so I have been next to her spending every last second I can get my hands on. My dad came in and I made him tell her his little secret and she told him to stay out of our lives until the day he dies. Dean came over and introduced himself. They got on really well. She is going into surgery that might cure her but the doctors say on 5% of people cure this illness. I'll miss her when she is gone. Let's hope it succeeds!

Mums surgery was successful but she wont be able to leave the hospital until next year. Dean and I left her to sleep for a couple hours and I hung out in his "room". His life is so sad having lost everything pretty much . He is better but cant leave for another month and he has promised me that he will come and visit me and my mum when he can. We gossiped about the popular girls and how they think their perfect. When I went to leave he asked me for my number so he could text me when visiting hour was over and I had to be in my mum's room.

The next day...

I sat next to my mum's snoring. My phone pinged and it was a text message from Dean. I crept round to his room and sat down next to him in his bed. He was fast asleep so I snuggled under the duvet and fell into my own slumber. When I woke up he whispered in my ear "You look cute when you sleep you know!" I felt my cheeks burn up and I bit my lip trying not to let out a laugh. He kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry I didn't know .. I couldn't help myself." He stuttered. I laughed before leaning in and kissing his lips. They tasted like strawberries and felt soft against my own. A huge goofy grin  laid  on his face. And the rest is history...

Saturday 4 February 2017

Meeting for the first time...

The sound of voices  echo around me as my head spins trying to figure out what happened. My mum was always at the gym  as she always felt as if she was to fat but she always ate enough. Dad never showed up and it's been a good week and a half since I got that call. My cheeks were stained from the endless tears that had dropped down then. Now I was finally out of tear and hope Occasionally Sky will come make sure I am still alive and haven't given up yet. School sent me all my homework assignments as they understand it is a difficult time for me.   Today a new person was placed next to my mum's room as it has been empty for weeks. It's a young boy around the same age as me. He tried to stab himself in his school bathroom and was found by his best friend. Dean is his name. We went to the same school but I only ever heard  gossip about him from the popular girls. Apparently he is mentality ill and suffers from depression. He lost his dad to a drug overdose when he was 6 and watched him die in front of him. His mother struggles to make ends meat and spends most of her time at work trying to get any extra hours she can leaving Dean  to look after his little brother and sister.

Another 5 hours have passed and I think the lack of sleep has driven me insane but the boy next door keeps creeping into my mind. I hope he is okay. He is a pretty good looking boy I must admit. Anyway I spoke to him and he told me about how its all getting to much for him. I held his hand as her got stitches for the cut on his arm. He was the first person to make me laugh in a week and I'm very happy we met but of not  like this of course. I may or may not have fallen asleep on his shoulder while watching toy story (one of our faves).

Maybe jus maybe I might be falling for the troubled teen named Dean....

Author's note

I would just like to give you guys the link to the book that personally inspired me to start writing again so her you go there is 3 in the series and i wold love to know what you think of it!

Number 1:


Number 2:


Number 3;